Frustrated & Lost

"What are you doing?", it's the question that I'm asked and answer dozens of times a day on Twitter, but it's a question that I never really honestly answer. What am I really doing? In all honesty I don't know. Right now I'm frustrated, mainly with myself and that's because I feel as though I've lost direction somewhere. I stumbled into the new media and development scene purely by accident and honestly, in some respects, I feel like a bit of a fraud. Here I am without any development or programming knowledge, not the greatest of designers in the world, plodding along. As most of you are aware, my degree is in Film Production Technology; I call myself a creative digital media artist but increasingly I'm calling myself lost. I honestly don't know what to do, or what I should be doing.

As of this moment I have two long term projects that I'm focusing on, the ever ageing TinyGrab and the new baby on the block, Pitchie. Both are projects that I love to pieces, but neither are great money earners. I believe that most of my frustration stems from my lack of ability to keep a roof over my head; my financial reserves are rapidly depleting and soon I'm going to have run out of options. Freelancing is something that I've started to look into, with sites such as freelancer.com, but the ladder to actually get anywhere on them is incredibly high. The problem being that there's always someone willing to do the job cheaper than you and with hundreds of recommendations.

This short little blog post is really just a way for me to vent my current frustrations with myself and my position. How about you? How do you keep a roof over your head, make some money and do you have any suggestions for me? I'm feeling lost and I could really do with someone to shine a light and help me find a way home.

Chris Leydon.